Where do you wana go in your life?
Aim for nothing and you’ll hit it every time. Aim low and you’ll hit it every time too.
Aiming low is a serious problem.
I know many people who aim to ‘‘get married.’’ They set that as a goal.
What’s wrong with this?
If that’s what you aim for (bare minimum) that’s all you may get. You may get married but then not enjoy married life. Because you made it your sole aim to only get married.
You must make it an aim to get married AND have a wonderful relationship.
Many people make the mistake of doing the right things at beginning of the marriage. Such as listening, being courteous, not being selfish, respect putting food in eachother’s mouths etc. But as marriage goes on they stop doing this.
This is suicide. Just because you cleaned the house last week does not you don’t do it this week.
Marriage is like a house you need to do things on a weekly/daily basis to maintain OR watch it die.
People make the mistake of doing things temporarily.
That’s why they go on crash diets. They make the intention to temporarily eat healthy to enjoy health. WRONG! You need to make the intention to eat healthy for the rest of your life to enjoy a lifetime of good health. And for your marriage you need to do things for the rest of the married life to enjoy a good marriage. It all starts with the power of intention. Change your intention to do things for a temporary basis to permanent. The prophet said the most beloved of good deeds are those that are done on a consistent basis. These are the most effective deeds.
Think about it. If you regularly played with your spouse, (families that play together stay together) laughed with your spouse,treated your spouse, hugged them, showed them kindness regularly your marriage would be much better than someone who set out to ‘‘just get married.’’
Sit down with yourself write down on paper actions you can do regularly on a weekly basis that will help the marriage.
Here’s a few (what a husband can do as I am a husband)
- Lunchbreak call her and ask how is her day going (LISTEN) Say you’ve been thinking about her.
- Hug daily
- Kiss your wife bye before you go work.
- Lie in bed and talk
- Go for romantic night walks
- Book restaurant and go on a date
- Send her a text saying I love you
Don’t expect your wife to To stay indoors All Day
1400 years ago there was nothing much to do in Saudi Arabia and hijabi women under such roasting heat would easily be able to stay indoors.
But if you live in a western country and expect her to stay in doors with so many things to do outside you are not being realistic. It’s not fair you can carry on going out with your friends whilst she is stuck at home becoming part of the furniture. I believe brothers are more insecure and do not trust their wives as a reason to not let their wives have freedom. Marriage is based upon trust and if there is no trust then there is no marriage.
She needs to either be working or studying because unlike us men women cannot sit and do nothing all day.
She could work three days a week 20 – 24 hours a week. If she’s ok to share the expenses with you this can allow you to work part-time too so you can both work part-time to earn a full-time salary. She is less likely to complain about you not spending enough time together.
Also since she has something to look forward to (work) she will be less reliant on you for entertainment as her mind is being stimulated.
Quality time Vs Quantity time
You could have the whole day off be at home. But not have spent quality time together.
You need to be physically present and mentally present doing something together playing a game, talking at a cafe etc. This means TURN OFF THAT PHONE!
Before getting married. Don’t just plan the wedding. Plan how to make the marriage successful.
A happy marriage happy wife can be the catalyst behind learning Arabic, financial or any success you achieve in your life.
Marriage is supposed to be beneficial for both parties. What is your spouse getting out of being married to you? What are you bringing to the marriage apart from paying the bills?